Jean Grey's, like, got a gun!
by Foxieglove
Summary: a songfic about the ever-popular Jean. Not for Jean fans!


A/N: I don't know where I got this idea, but it was inspired by the song "Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun" by Julie Brown. I didn't change many of the lyrics cause they were so perfect. :P The song starts out funny, but for me, it gets a little sad/creepy toward the end. Just take that as a warning.

**Jean Grey's got a gun!**  
  


**Kitty**  
It was homecoming night at my high school  


**Kurt, Scott, & Evan**  
Oooo-ooohhhhhh 

**Kitty**  
Everyone was there, it was totally cool.  
  
**Kurt, Scott, & Evan**  
Oooo-ooohhhhhh   


**Kitty**  
I was real excited, I almost wet my jeans,  
  
**Kurt, Scott, & Evan**  
Oooo-ooohhhhhh 

**Kitty**  
'Cause my best friend Jean Grey was homecoming queen!  
She looked so pretty in pink chiffon 

**Kurt, Scott, & Evan**  
Chiffonnnn . . .  
  
**Kitty**  
Riding the float with her tiara on,  
**  
Kurt, Scott, & Evan**  
Tiara onnnnn. . .  
  
**Kitty**  
Holding this humongous bouquet in her hand,  
  
**Kurt, Scott, & Evan**  
Bouqueeet . . .

**Kitty**  
She looked straight out of Disneyland.  
You know like the Cinderella ride? I mean definitely an E-ticket 

**Kurt, Scott, & Evan**  
E-ticket . . .

**Kitty**  
The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked 

**Kurt, Scott, & Evan**  
Was stoked . . .  


**Kitty**  
I mean it was like the whole school was totally coked or something;  
The band was playing Evergreen,  
Then all of a sudden somebody screamed:  
  
**Scott**  
"Look out! The homecoming queen's got a gun!" (Gunshot) "Aaaaeeiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" 

**All**  
Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun,  
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun. 

**Kitty**  
Jean's like smiling and waving her gun,  
Picking off cheerleaders one by one:  
Oh Ashley's pompom just blew to bits,  
Oh no, Riley's head just did the splits.  
God, my best friend's on a shooting spree;  
Stop it, Jean, you're like, _embarrassing_ me!  
How could you do what you just did?  
Are you having a really bad period? 

**All**  
Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun,  
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun. 

**Kurt, Rogue, & Evan**  
Stop Jean, like, you're making a mess,  
Powder burns all over your dress.

**Kitty**  
An hour later the cops arrived;  
By then the entire glee club had died! (no big loss)  
You wouldn't believe what they brought to stop her:  
Tear gas, machine guns, even a chopper!

**Principal Kelly**  
"Throw down your gun and tiara and come out of the float!"  
  
**Kitty**  
Jean, like, didn't listen to what the man said,  
She aimed and fired and now the math teacher's dead!  
Oh it's really sad but kind of a relief,  
I mean, we had this big test coming up next week. 

**All**  
Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun,  
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun. 

**Kurt, Rogue, & Evan**  
Jean's really having a blast,  
She's wasting half of the class.

**Kitty**  
The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off the float,  
I tried to scream "duck" but it stuck in my throat;  
She hit the ground and did a flip, it was real acrobatic,  
But I was crying so hard I couldn't work my instamatic.  
I ran down to Jean, I like had to find out  
What made her do it, why'd she freak out?  
I saw the bullet had got her right in the ear:  
I knew then the end was near. 

**Kitty**  
So I ran down and I said in her good ear "Jean, like, why'd you do it?"  
She raised her head, smiled, and said 

**Jean**  
"I -- I did it for Tolensky. Errrk!" :dies:  


**Kitty**  
Tolensky? Well, like, who's Tolensky? Answer me Jean, who's Tolenksy?  
Does anybody here know Tolenksy? Are you Tolensky?  
There was one guy named Tolensky but he was a total weirdo, he always ate flies with his tongue.  
Answer me Jean, who's Tolenksy?  
Oh God this is like that movie _Citizen Kane_ you know where you later find out Rosebud was a sled,  
But we'll never know who Tolensky was because, like... she's _dead _... 

**All**  
Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun,  
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a ...  
Everybody run,  
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a ... 

(fades out)

  



End file.
